the bad dominicana

porque soy terrible. afrolatina. culture clash. dominican republic meets nyc. ghetto/barrio nerd. raging mujercista.

**note: most of my content prolly requires a TW and will be NSFW.

also, read my "before you follow" statement before you do so, and enter at your own motherfuckin risk.

LIMCHOY LEE: everythingbutharleyquinn: bad sex is easy to have. whether it’s...


bad sex is easy to have. whether it’s someone you just met 5 minutes ago or you’ve been with someone for thirty years, bad sex is ridiculously easy to have. especially for women because we are trained to suppress our own desires, feel shame over them, cater to male pleasure above our own and respond to sex in the same way that men predominantly do, which is what our socially cultivated idea of healthy sexuality is based on. spontaneous mind-blowing sex CAN and does happen, but it’s not the predominant experience. good sex usually takes time and effort. even when we’re intensely attracted to someone, it can take a little practice before the sex gets really consistently amazing. so many of our communities revolve around sex. we all have to be having it. preferably lots of it. and often with lots of people. and unless you habitually run in a community in which open communication, honesty and particularly the desires of women both cis and trans are encouraged and nurtured, you’re going to find a lot of bad sex everywhere. even in such communities it’s not a guarantee (I’ve had a lot of bad sex in my supposed progressive queer community… see also many people’s neg experience of sex positivity, kink community, etc) but when you are a sex worker, you begin to realise the value of bad sex that you don’t personally get much out of, and that changes things up a whole lot. you find yourself really asking “what’s in this for me? do I want to go to the trouble of having sex with someone if it’s going to be ordinary and mediocre when I’m not getting paid for it?” this is another thing I hear non- politicised hos say a lot: “if I want to have shit sex, I’ll come to work”. whether in a relationship, a casual hookup, a one night stand or whatever, we want the sex we have outside of work to be worth the time we give to it. you get a lot choosier. and because you’re a lot choosier, you’re communicating more and you’re being more assertive about your needs and desires and you also find yourself shedding the sense of obligation to please others (men) by being sexually available all the goddamn time. in the words of many hookers I’ve spent time with: “now I know the value of my time and body”.

Posted on 22 December, 2012
Reblogged from limchoylee  Source thisspinsterlife

266 notes

  1. gilltron reblogged this from thisspinsterlife
  2. torukun1 reblogged this from thisspinsterlife
  3. hellhoneypumpkindoom reblogged this from bad-dominicana
  4. caramelandsugar reblogged this from thisurlisnolongerinservice13
  5. ccshugar reblogged this from thisurlisnolongerinservice13
  6. flanneryculprit reblogged this from lostgrrrls
  7. sinderhella reblogged this from lostgrrrls
  8. lostgrrrls reblogged this from bad-dominicana
  9. titspirationall reblogged this from lenguadelava
  10. mrbroregard reblogged this from blue-author
  11. columbiafemsex reblogged this from afrafemme
  12. inactivegrokeseverywhere reblogged this from afrafemme
  13. missproctor reblogged this from afrafemme
  14. afrafemme reblogged this from thisspinsterlife
  15. andyoukickingmeout reblogged this from so-treu

Vivid Theme by JoachimT
Powered by Tumblr

Install Theme